Stardust For Jennifer

I didn’t know that I was a bass player until I was twenty-nine years old. I might have been a bit of a "late-bloomer", but when it was time for me to know, it was as if all of the stars aligned and
everything in the known universe was pointing me in that direction. One day my friends were
mentioning that they needed a bass player for their band, the next day a colleague (from my day
job) mentioned that he played the bass, and was looking to take on a student or two, and the day
after that I found a bass at a local music shop that happened to cost, with tax, the exact amount of
money that I had in my wallet ($190.80 – I will never forget that amount). I had never even
considered playing the bass guitar but after getting a bass, a bass teacher, and a potential band
within three days’ time, how could I deny that I at least had to give it a try?
So I started playing with my friend’s band, Acoustic Stew. They were patient enough to give me
the time to learn not only the songs on their set list, but the fundamentals of bass playing in general.
My teacher, John Schaller, had been a gigging musician on the local scene for over fifteen years, so
in addition to teaching me everything I know about playing the bass, he also taught me everything I
know about being part of a band and about being a professional, working musician. I cannot thank
him enough for the time he invested into my playing and my career. Sixteen years later I am still
holding down the bottom end. I am still learning, and growing as a musician.
I was probably playing bass live on a stage way before I had any right to be up there… but, there I
was! I think I played my first gig about two months after the first time I ever picked up a bass
guitar. I still think of those days, and cringe. It was horrible. I was very nervous. and I made a lot of
mistakes. but I am grateful for the experience because it drove me to be a better player. I
never wanted to look like that big of a fool again! (I have, of course, made mistakes, and looked like
a fool many times over since then, but I eventually realized that if you’re afraid of making an ass
out of yourself then you have no business being on a stage!)
Acoustic Stew went through many members and transitions over the years, but I stuck it out.
I married the guitar player, and eventually we turned into a weird band named "Ribo and the
Flavinauts". Ribo does what it wants, there is no genre, or era that we are trying to represent, or
emulate. We all have such diverse musical tastes and influences that we can’t see doing things any
other way. I love having the freedom to bring any, and every song to the table, no matter how
obscure.
This bio would not be complete without mentioning that Ruby has been my best friend through the
ups and downs since we were in fourth grade. She was the only person in our graduating class who
really understood where I was coming from about pretty much everything. Maybe because we are
both only children? I don’t know, but we lived in our own dimension back then, and we can still slip
right back into that dimension to this day.
I loved going to Ruby’s house. It was the equivalent of going to a massive library of unexplored
media. Between her parent’s huge album collection and her own growing collection it seemed like
there was a never-ending selection of new music to explore. I can remember spending hours
making mix tapes, and dubbing whole albums from her collection.
I met Philm in 1991 when I was seventeen years old. We got into a lot of trouble together. He
also opened my eyes to an entire universe of new territory that it would have taken me decades for me to discover on my own. He taught me the difference between the trite, the mainstream media, and true Art. He
showed me David Lynch movies, introduced me to bands like Suede and The Orchids. He showed me that there
was life outside of the boring existence that I was being pushed towards by my teachers, and my
parents. Though we went our own ways in life for a while, I never forgot the things he showed me,
or the experiences we had together. They were the best times of my life, and I always hoped that I
would bump into Philm again one day.
As it turns out, that would not happen for nearly twenty-five years.
I was at a gig, playing with Ribo, when Philm just sort of… walked out of the crowd and back into
my life. Though it had been over two decades since we last saw one another, we fell into stride as if
not a single day had passed. We spent hours catching up and reminiscing, and talked a lot about our
respective projects. It was so much fun that we did it all over again the very next day!
I have been wanting to branch out, and be a part of something "more" (musically speaking) for quite
some time. So, when Philm mentioned that he was interested in having me play bass, and various
other "noisemakers" in Stardust For Jennifer, I jumped at the chance so fast that I am not even sure he
believed me! It just wasn’t something that I needed to think about. There was no question. Make
music with Philm, and possibly even Ruby?
"Yes!"
Anyway, he asked me again the next day (when I was sober) and I still said “Yes!,” which brings me
right up to where we are now. I am very excited about being a part of Stardust For Jennifer. I look
forward to adding my own subtle sounds to the new material, to learning the existing material, to
working with my friends, and to meeting the rest of the talented people who make music with Philm.

I have no past. The past is dead. I have no future. The future hasn't happened. There is only now. If I can't make music, I am not going to do anything. That is all there is to say.

        I was born in Sault St. Marie, Canada on May 9th, 1977. I am a Taurus. I come from a large family of deeply creative, loving, hearty, and well educated people. I love my family very much, and I’m blessed beyond belief to have them in my life. I grew up with my nose in books (my nose is still in books.) When I was young, I lived in my head, and was painfully shy. I felt fat, and awkward growing up. I didn’t really fit in anywhere. I've always had a very strange attraction to the Solar System, and felt as if I had been misplaced on this rock we call Earth. My mother, who is a teacher, saw how difficult public school was for me, and decided I should be “home schooled” (Thank You Mom!) Music became my first friend. I would steal the records my brother who would throw out. He thought they were crap (they blew my mind!) I grew up listening to Punk Rock, Post Punk, Industrial/Noise Music, and all the Shoegaze bands (I’m also quite fond of Ambient Music) Much to the chagrin of my older brother (A metal head, who is a deeply gifted, and successful musician) I taught myself how to play guitar, and piano. The record I learned to play guitar to was The Pixies “Surfer Rosa” (Djinn, and I bonded over The Pixies, and Sonic Youth years ago....It was love at first sight.) I had some very bad things happen to me when I was young that shaped me in ways I’m only  now beginning to see, understand, and reconcile. I am a gay man. I came out last year (A “late bloomer” at 39) largely in part to Philm’s, understanding, compassion, wisdom, and support. Over the last decade that we have been best friends, he taught me how to love, and accept myself....to respect myself, and my complexity. Yes, I’m “a bear”, but I don’t like the bear culture, and I dislike the term “bear”. I find the culture vapid, and superficial, as I do many facets of the modern world. I guess I’m a curmudgeon that way. I am an animator, and CGI artist. My nickname is “Eiffel”; which Djinn gave to me (How cool is that?! My best friend nicknamed me after my favorite Pixies song! Alec Eiffel! Yay!)

FFWD 25 years....

Philm was injured very badly from a violent assault almost 7 years ago. I have never left his side since then. I watched him go through hell. I held his hand when he could not speak. He still has nightmares about the attack. It’s still heartbreaking to think about. We don’t talk much about that time. I harbor profound hatred for the wretch who did this to him. It was during this time (when he was in the hospital) that our friendship was allowed to develop. We were “closet” best friends prior to this. This was due to extenuating circumstances. We were never really allowed to be the friends we knew each other to be. There was a certain dark force at work for both of us....the same force that put him in the hospital, was the same force I fought with for much of my life....out of the mud, flowers bloom....the alchemical wedding....we fought the dark, turning shit into Gold.

I always wanted to play in a band with Philm, but was too afraid , and intimidated to ask. Stardust For Jennifer is my favorite band, and Philm’s talent is immense, and multi faceted. He has made music with some of the most  profoundly gifted, and talented people there are. I never thought I was "good enough" to make music with him (he has since proved me wrong) I was always afraid I would be rejected if I broached the subject....then, one day, not long ago....he asked me to play guitar in Stardust For Jennifer. It was the happiest day of my life! I literally did cartwheels across the front yard! I felt a lifetime of pain heal in that moment. I still get goosebumps when I think of that day....

(Note)
Philm, and I are also in another band together called The Atomic Clocks. It’s my punk rock band. I started it so I could ask Djinn if "he would be in MY band?” Of course he said “Absolutely Robert!” We have a record finished, but I decided to shelve it till the new Stardust For Jennifer record is finished. It’s kind of a hybrid of punk rock, and Shoegaze. We’re both really proud of it. It’s just the two of us, and a drum machine/sampler.

Philm Martin has been my best friend, soul mate, biggest influence, and constant companion for a decade now. He is the big brother I never had. No one knows him better than I do. It’s my job to look out for him, and keep him out of trouble (He is REALLY good at getting in trouble, AND even better at starting trouble! He is a "Merry Prankster" at heart afterall) I am very protective of him. Those who know us both, affectionately refer to us as “The Twins”. We get into  to all sorts of mischief together. In addition to being a truly genius musician, and songwriter, he is a gifted painter, and artist. He is the most intelligent, affectionate, kind, loving, stylish, sensitive, and spiritual fella in my life (as well as the funniest guy I know) He is, hands down, the greatest man I’ve ever known. I’m honored to be in my favorite band, with my best friend.

We are Stardust For Jennifer, and we will mangle your minds!

Love and Protection
Robert L.
(a.k.a. Eiffel)

October 31st. 2017.